Saturday, 22 June 2013

The Wait

Today will be the starting of my very own adventure. It hurts to continue on but i must. I can't just stand idle here waiting for that day to come. No matter what i do i cannot change the fact this is happening. Was there something i did wrong? Was it the distance? Was it her? Most probably is neither of them. I guess we just needed the break i guess. Even on my side, there's multiple events and important things to be done this half end of the year.

I will miss the times i put a show, sing out of tune, wear atrociously and making hideous faces just to see that beautiful smile on her face. See her face that brightens up my day and night. The excitement of electricity that jolts through my veins whenever i see her reply my messages. The feeling of comfort even though we're 10,000 miles away. The comfort and warmth of her voice when i talk to her on the phone. The spunk, sarcasm and perkiness she puts into our conversations. I managed to derive many things from this.. Many flaws that i have that i still have to work on.

I can't be sure whether or not she will find someone else during the break, i don't know.. I'm still waiting for that something she's will think of later.. The one thing im afraid i guess from this break would be that she might find someone else.. The imagery's in my head of someone else but not me beside her. Never to feel that warmth, that smile, that hug, that kiss, that love again. But i trust her.. I trust that for the fact not because she's one of the best friend's I've ever had but for the fact I've been trusting her for years and for the fact i love her. My feelings are genuine, and they are real. I don't think i can fall for anyone else like i have fallen for her. And if she is the last person i fall for, i have no regrets.

When i see her and think of her now, i realized how much of myself i see in her.. The smile, the laugh, the determination, the strength, the clown in her, the sense of trust, and the open mindness that i have. Likewise, i see much of myself change as well. The care, the kind heartedness, the capability to handle workloads and stress as well as the continuation of pushing myself to strive for the best no matter how dumb i am.

If she ever doubts that i will never return for her, if she ever doubts that i will already with someone else, if she ever doubts that i will move on, if she ever doubts that i will forget her... I will wait, i will return, i will stay, and i will continue waiting for years till i'm capable to provide if i have to, to be with her. There's a plan in my head of what imma do, imma stick to it. :)

I'll be holding on the her words, i'll be holding on to that hope, i will be holding on to her. When the time is right.... I'll be holding on the the words you wrote on  your blog and the message you sent to me..

DO NOT THROW LAFFI AWAY. ehheheheh XD

Guess i'll  be here whenever you need me. :) Hope to hear from you soon............

P.s. I Love You & My Bunny Roars

Signed,
Carrot

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