Cuts and bruises

I know a lot of people in the world are suffering way more than i am.. But honestly.. There's a whole loads of cuts and bruises on me. Although as much of an optimist i am, the scars are still there. One example...

I was up till erm, now i guess 4.47am to be exact finishing up my assignment which is due a day after that but im leaving for vietnam so i have to pass it up earlier. And then, my mum starts blabbering saying im not focused, how i should study and focus on my stpm and hell, abou me not listening to her and it pains me more that i can't say anything to retaliate..  But she said why don't you don't go to vietnam?

Omg those words actually came out of her mouth!! The trip i've been waiting and yearning for. The long deserved break i needed. Are you fking kidding me? I got mad inside but yet i wasn't allowed to show it.. In the end she got pissed about it and just stipped the conversation. I really hope she doesn't change her mind or else i'd be furious....

This is one of the examples of pains i have... Asides from that i have a heart and feeligs that toy around with me. Not knowing what to feel and what to do. The word love is such a strong word. Do i really love her that much up to the extent despite knowing what has happened im still yearning to be with her? Yes, yes i am. Stupid yeap, idiotic sure, dreamer 100%.

Feelings play with my heart like slash playing an electric guitar. Worst part is that there is this one song called My Queen by Joesph Vincent. No, i dont hate it. I love it. But the lyrics make me wanna do something.... Lets just wait and see if my situation with love ever is settled ei?